I used to be afraid of this book

The Summer before i turned twenty i became ill, and started to lose alot of weight. I didnt know what was wrong, i started bruising easy and developed a horrible painful rash on my leg. Thinking the rash was probably from the chemicals in the swimming pool, and the extreme thirst i felt was the effect of dehydration from the intense heat of that very hot summer, and the bruises were probably from soccer, i didnt put much thought into it, but i still remember how sick i had felt all that summer.

My mom noticed i was sleeping alot, and wasnt my usual energetic bubbly self, she also notice the weightloss, the first thing she thought was 'does she have an eating disorder, or is she on drugs', I told my mom how i was feeling, and she realized i had all the same symptoms my dad had when he was first diagnosed with diabetes, she she tested my blood sugar with my dads meter and it was sky high! So off to the emergancy room for me.

Ispent my twentieth birthday in the emergency room at the hospital with IV, and other tubes i didnt even know what they were for stuck in both wrists, i had urine tests, tests for ketones and numerous viles of blood drawn. When the tests had come back i was told the news i and my family had already suspected, i had type 1 diabetes. And i had had it for approx 3-5 months before i was diagnosed, i am very lucky the doctor said to be alive and not to have gone into a coma for having my blood sugar so high! That night i was in shock, i was in that state of mind thinking, 'oh, i cant be a diabetic, not me', i was fine for a few days until it hit me like a ton of bricks that i could have died! That night i cried all night long until i finally fell asleep, and then for months afterward i started having nightmares.

The nightmares were caused from things people without experience in this disease, meaningbesides not having it themselves, they dont know anyone personally that does, so they are just basing their info on what they read or hear. These people were much older than me, so naturally i trusted and believed everything they said, eventually i just started to think these people were getting joy out of scaring the crap out of me!! I was told things about how i would end up in a wheel chair, i was going to go blind, have gangrene in my toes, every sore i would get would cause an infection, my kidneys were going to shut down...................................................................................... So the nightmares started, almost everynight i had the same dream, i stepped on glass and my feet fell off, sound funny, but trust me i had serious fear and anxiety of this happening. This was eight years ago, i dont have the nightmares anymore, but i think a part of me still holds that fear inside me, i wear slippers on my feet ALL the time, im never barefoot, im paranoid of stepping on glass and having complications.

Another source that fed my fear and anxiety of having this disease was the book The Diabetes Source Book by Diana Guthrie R.N and Richard Guthrie M.D, both are certified diabetes educators. This book i do not recommend to anyone newly diagnosed with diabetes if you have fears of complications, this book is full of bad things that can happen to you if you dont take care of your disease and manage it. Once you learn about your disease and become familiar with the positive, not always the negative, then this book does have alot of useful info. Some people may take the book differently than i had, i was young and everywhere i turned i had information about all the negatives about diabetes thrown at me, so the books warnings and information it provides on the complications that are possible if the disease is not controlled just added to my fears.

In this book you will find alot and i mean alot of information on how to take care of yourself and your diabetes, everything from proper hygiene from head to toe, including dental, exchange lists, and reading labels, info on current research being done to find better tratment options and a cure,and what to expect from your healthcare team, finding support and helping friends and family to understand, there is stuff on the effects of stress and complications that could arise, lots of info on different complications of the disease.

This book i used to be afraid of, because of its truthfulness, im not anymore because i have a much better understanding of diabetes, and now i know that the complications are not an automatic thing, that they can be prevented with proper treatment and control, but as a young woman, i had no idea, i now understand that this book was meant to prevent those problems, to educate on what can happen, not what will happen.