...Or You Could Just Shoot Me! By Tai-Pan on - Updated Oct 15, 2011
ALKA-SELTZER PLUS
Flu
Honey Orange
In a recent article, this humble epitarian ( I made that up!;-) postured a "never to rarely sick" statement.
Ooops!
In retrospect, an expectable "shouldn't a said"!
Ever vigilant, a life long antagonist and companion, the always nefarious if not charming Mr. Murphy has, it seems taken umbrage to this self lauding.
In true bully fashion (I feel whiney), with an accompaniment of proteins and other genetic materials often known as... V I R U S, our Mr. M has once again delt from his own deck.
I'M SICK!!! (fill space with expletives here!)
Well, one of the perks of a Gaelic constitution combined with an inherited Native American wiliness is that aggression will be met...
"Course, it's nice to have a CVS in the neighborhood for backup!
From "plop, plop" to gulp - 3min. Effects begin in roughly 30sec.
Kleenex consuming sinus tsunamis subside in ear popping calm.
Richter registering congestive cough tamed by this hoarse whisperer in less than 60 sec.
Metaphoric in my delirium ain't I?
Fever, eh, still a little ringy, but with all the rest of the system recalibration/relief, it's a back-burner issue for the moment.
Aches ...a little slow on the giddy-up, but fading noticeably.
There's a "who's who" list of other symptomatic retaliations, but I think I'm starting to run out of syllables (or brain-cell O2?).
What do they put in those bubbly little tablets?!?
Who doesn't like the word "EFFERVESCENT"?
It's so fun to say!
Looks fast or ...something. Doesn't it?
A bit harder to type! Well, ...at the moment!
Ok, here's the 1,2:
Approx. $7 pulled this 20ct. colorful box off the shelf and got me through the door without alarms.
The cashier looked at me a little funny, but that might have had something to do with the weaving, rolley eyes and mumbled speech pattern?!?
I think somebody actually t -r -i -e -d when they developed the honey-orange flavoring!
If I believed I could taste right now I would say it was even pleasant.
If any of this sounds familiar, you could do worse than having a box on hand.
There's other flavors, symptom specific...stuff.
The shelf looked like a Histamine-Latte menu! "Something for everyone!"
"...oh, what a relief it is!"
About The Author:
Bayer Alka-Seltzer Plus Purchased at: CVS Price: $7ish
?!? Comedy?!? (oh! ...right!) Thank you;-)
Tai-Pan, even in illness you are a hoot! Feel better soon and thanks for the info on this, always wondered whether it worked - obviously it does! Take care.
(blush) I take no responsibility. I was obviously typing under the influence! Thank you Lady!