Paper: get some

Paper, we've all used it; I mean, school requires at least a thousand sheets and work another two thousand. You would think, then, that companies would have gotten it right by now. Unfortunately this is hardly the case. Just recently I came home with a new stack of HP Printer Paper. I was quite excited, for now I could finally print some wonderful vacation pictures. However, before I shoved the familiar thin, white stuff into my printer's gaping maw, I decided to put it to the test. I was almost immediately disappointed. Everyone knows the traditional size of a sheet of printer paper, right? 8 1/2" x 11". Unfortunately, HP must have missed the memo, probably due to its shoddy paper. For, you see, the paper measured exactly 8 1/2" x 11 1/8". The paper quickly jammed the printer. Such a discrepancy is intollerable, so I simply tossed the blank stuff into the trash, out of reason-repressed rage.