loading, one second please...

Christmas Humor: Spare Me Your Family Portraits!

Gayle Parks By Gayle Parks on
Badge: Publisher | Level: 8 | Fiction & Creative Expertise:

Every Christmas I receive several of those fancy, family portrait Christmas cards. You know, the ones that are similar to a postcard, only fancier. This year, so far, I have received one from my sister, which is fine since I know my sister and her family. I enjoyed seeing how old my brother-in-law looked; something we, playfully, poke each other about. But, why oh why, am I always the lucky recipient of portraits of people I barely know?

Every year at Christmas I receive these fancy photo cards from people I barely know. People I never communicate with and rarely, if ever, see. I hardly know most of them and, usually, don’t know their children at all. Nor, do I know, or even want to know, their Poodles and Golden Retrievers which, invariably, are in the picture too. It seems like such a waste to send this, no doubt expensive, prettied-up picture postcard to an old Grinch, like me. Better to save them for your sister or, at least, for people you actually know.

Perhaps Grinch is too strong a word. I really do like Christmas and I certainly have nothing against family photos, but I do think sending them to everybody within 500 square miles is a little much. Spare me the family portrait Christmas cards…please! You are all very beautiful, but I probably know the guy standing in line behind me at the grocery store better, since I saw him once before.

Dear people, if you are reading this and still feel you absolutely must send me your current Christmas grouping, complete with matching sweaters, send it by email please. I will gladly view your festive family and then happily hit the delete button. It will be cheaper for you, and less bulky for me. Otherwise, it just might end up as fireplace fodder! Merry Christmas!