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Grand Parent Not Parent

missawalker By missawalker on
Badge: Author | Level: 3 | Children & Parenting Expertise:

As a parent that experienced issues with depression that caused trials in my life that have caused me to make decisions for my children that were hard I must say that although appreciated, grandparent taking care of their grandchildren are not the grandchild's parent.

Every situation is different and as I have grown older, wiser, and have dealt with my depression I still carry the bad parent label. With that label I have to find space in my heart to accept that my children are no longer mine. Grandparents have to remember that hard times don't last always and the let down that they place upon THEIR children when they do not allow the parent to be the parent.

Fully realizing and understanding the bond that is created between grandparent and grandchild there came a time that I felt it best for my children to stay with my parents. I honestly, believe that separating them would do more harm than good. The thought of it makes me feel selfish.

Numerous rejections of my trying to be apart of my children's lives has left me with a feeling of loneliness and resentment towards my parents. It makes me wonder about the resent my children will one day feel towards me as they get older and the years of hearing how bad of a person I am really set in on them.

I will be the first one to applaud any grandparent or other family member that takes on the responsibility of raising a child, but I will also be the first one begging them to have understanding and forgiveness towards the person's situation. Nobody deserves to be judged, nobody deserves to be talked down upon to their children, and more importantly no child deserves to live life without their parent. Especially when the parent is trying to be there.

The hard part for me is not taking this matter back into the court system. I can't see myself hurting anyone. The down side to that is that I am the one that hurts the most.

As a grandparent and parent know when it is time to back down and give space for the parent to be a parent. It is a stressful situation for everyone involved, but it doesn't have to be a bad situation.