How to Survive a Loss of an Extension of Your Hand
Yes I'm talking about the cell phone
A candid view of its loss helps
1. You never liked the handset in the first place and it’s been a while since you had been using it.
2. You always wanted to do without the hysterical ringings that kept you on call forever.
3. Cell phones never help you improve your memory and hand writing. You lose both miserably.
4. You have always partially believed the urban legends that cell phones are harmful to the tympanic membranes.
5. If it's been pickpocketed, the thief must have had his reasons. Use your imagination and get wild. Maybe his mother was dying and she wanted an aged phone like yours, that too from a brown handbag also like yours, and in the most bizarre of circumstances while travelling in a bus with only a few passengers. (C'mon you can do better than this).
6. After all, you lost it to the dexterity and expertise of the professional pickpocket!
7. Sleep it off. Take a mild dose of an intoxicant and sleep it off like a dead man. It's some other matter that you are already, in ways, socially dead after the loss.
8. Grab a DVD of Stuart Little II. In a most strange coincidence, it's about a homelifter (lifter as in shoplifter) who returns the ring of Stuart's mom. But then you cannot expect this to happen to you for the pickpocket is not a birdie!
9. You did talk to a series of people right from the service provider, the phone company, the police and even some strangers. You never knew you were so good with impromptu narration. You did an amazing job recounting the whole incident the 87th time. Who says you are not tolerant and need help?
10. The thief must have had a hollow victory after realizing what he had achieved. An old phone with outdated software, no GPS, no functional camera, and a measure of quirkiness that he must attribute to its original owner.
11. After realizing his folly of stealing this old phone, the pickpocket must have started to fear the credentials of the user, maybe he seriously is considering changing his proffession.
12. Breathe deep, stretch back, look high up the sky, come out of the box. You are not a gadget freak and you can very well do without it. For a day!!
This is a candid look at the recent loss of my phone, which was stolen by some obnoxious species (the pickpocket). The after effects seemed never ending. If I do find him, I will not spare him.
God save him.