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How To Write A Book Like Twilight

e_bezovie By e_bezovie on
Badge: Author | Level: 3 | Fiction & Creative Expertise:
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Let's face it. Stephanie Meyer is rich.

By writing a novel that was so simple in story-telling and plot, aiming it towards a younger audience (with some exceptions) and leaving the plot open for at least 4 sequels, 1 prequel, and 1 random character backstory, she has single handedly managed to write her way into a multi-billion dollar lifestyle. But who says you can't write the next Twilight? It's a fairly simple formula; follow these guidelines and you'll be well on your way to your own fortune.

Pick your team -- Start with a wimpy, depressed character that thinks that they're plain and uninteresting (they actually are). Since Meyer went with a girl main character, stick with what we know. Or, if you're feeling risky, try making a BOY the wimpy main character. Next, you'll need a love interest. Choose some sort of mythical creature that was supposed to be frightening and not sparkly. How about .. a zombie! Great, so you've got your main characters! Now choose a villain (or group of villains) that are the same species as your creature. In our case, we've chosen zombies.

Think up a weak story line -- Stephanie Meyer does it best -> "Keep it simple, stupid." You now need to choose a plot that is so simple to follow that even your grandma in a coma could understand what was going on. How will your wimpy character and zombie love interest meet? Maybe a cemetery, or morgue? Maybe they're being kept apart by their parents, and desperately want to live together in zombie-human harmony? Maybe the pack of zombie villains wants to eat the brains of the human character, and her zombie lover must protect her at all costs? Yes, that sounds like a winner!

Choose a religion -- Pick a religion's values that you will sneakily use in your novel to brainwash the young readers of your book. Meyer chose mormonism, which is why Bella cooks and cleans after her father and refuses to get an education. Maybe you can use Buddhism?

Bastardize your characters -- Now that you've got your plot, characters, and subliminal messages, you need to add some sparkle! Literally! Since the sparkly trait is pretty much trademarked by Stephanie Meyer, you'll have to think of something else. How about zombies that leak puss whenever they are exposed to moonlight? Oh wait, that actually sounds scary. How about zombies that leak rainbows whenever they hold a kitten?

Submit your story! -- Now that you've written your multi-billion dollar book, submit it to as many publishers as possible without an agent. After that's over, just sit back, relax, and wait for someone to pick it out of the slush-pile and recognize the brilliance that you have created.

You're welcome!