Last year when I decided to take a course in Hypnosis I was very intrigued by one particular area that involved something that was referred to as the Physical and Emotional Sexual. In relationships there is usually always a Physical and an Emotional sexual. For those couples who have considered themselves soul mates, they are most likely very compatible because one of them is a Physical sexual and the other is an Emotional sexual. Opposites do indeed attract.
This topic can be vast and is one that can't be fairly covered in an article but with the basic information below, perhaps you can pinpoint who in your relationship is the Physical and who is the Emotional sexual.
The Physical and Emotional Sexual differences
It should be mentioned first that both the Physical and the Emotional sexual can be either a male or female. It's the attributes that are the differing indicator here, not the actual sex of the individual. The Physical sexual individual who is not experiencing high or low Physical sexuality extremes (an example of why this would happen is mentioned further in the article) would have some or all of the following traits:
** They place their family, their relationships and sex first in their lives and they are always ready to be intimate. They are caregivers and will often be the one to ensure children and spouse are looked after. They are not hesitant to give hugs, kisses or praise easily and readily.
** They enjoy and have many friends and love to socialize. They are able to size up a room and melt into the group with ease. The male Physical sexual can have many male friends while the Physical sexual female often has many male friends as well. She often finds other females invasive or threatening in her "territory" and thus with male friends she is the center of attention and of course the only female.
** Physical sexuals enjoy their hobbies and interests but these are always set aside easily if friends or family should call their attention to something.
**Surprisingly, the Physical sexual place their careers and their finances last, often able to take these in stride and usually they don't really worry about these two aspects of their lives because they often have them well in control.
The Emotional sexual on the other hand have their priorities in almost complete contrast to the Physical:
**Emotional males and females place their career and finances first and foremost in their lives and they'll often concentrate on these with almost sheer oblivion to anything else.
**Hobbies are the next importance to the Emotional sexual and in many cases their hobbies and interests have no limitations in either time spent with them or in how much money they will afford them.
**Friends for the Emotional female are other Emotional females who can talk with one another, usually about the Physical sexual they all have at home! The Emotional male most often has only one male friend at a time and even then they aren't inclined to spend a great deal of social time with them. Emotional males are often more content to be alone than with others.
**Sex and relationships are last for the Emotional sexual and lovey dovey isn't something the Emotional sexual cares to spend much time on. Unlike the Physical sexual though, the Emotional sexual has an actual "cycle" that they experience which when tracked will often clearly show their Physical partner when intimacy is more likely to happen.
Opposites do attract
The Physical/Emotional sexuality of every adult is learned from the secondary caregiver in our lives. For the first 5 years or so of life we are cared for by our primary caregiver which is usually our mother. Then from age 5 to about 14 our secondary caregiver which is most often our father or a father figure, influences us the most. Usually if the father is a Physical sexual - very demonstrative, hugs, kisses, etc., and spends time with his family, the children will most often also be Physical sexual. Where a father is an Emotional sexual, the child may not have had a father who was very involved in their lives and hugs and kisses were few and far between. Therefore, his children will display similar attributes to him and they would enter into their relationships as Emotional sexuals.
When the child becomes an adult and of dating age, usually they will be attracted to those individuals who are their opposite Physical/Emotional sexuality. This attraction is true in all relationships whether hetro or same sex. Sometimes this opposite attraction can be obvious while other times due to experiences from previous relationships, the attraction can be masked or short lived.
Where the problem sometimes lies
Relationship problems are usually due in large part when two Emotionals or two Physicals get together. This can happen when a High range Emotional, who acts more like a Physical gets together with a mid to low range Emotional or a low range Physical gets together with a mid to high range Physical. This can happen if for instance an Emotional female had a relationship with a Physical sexual male and the Physical was rejected by the Emotional (dumped for instance). In this case the Physical male would remember this relationship for a long time and possibly carry the hurt around with him for some time. In order to protect himself he might begin acting more like an Emotional and this would result in him displaying traits of an Emotional instead of the Physical that he is. Due to the fact the hurt Physical has been acting like an Emotional, they end up attracting other Physicals to them. Once the hurt Physical begins acting their sexuality type again, this places two Physicals in a relationship with each other that can lead to arguments, one upping each other, etc.
The same happens if an Emotional is acting more like a Physical. They will then attract other Emotionals to them. The emotional sexual will sometimes act more Physical following a situation for example that has left the Emotional feeling vulnerable or not in control in a previous relationship. Two Emotionals together often drift into a very platonic brother/sister type of relationship once the Emotional partner who was acting like a Physical sexual begins to once again act like the Emotional they are. This is often where those relationships of same ol' same ol' rut comes along.
How to Overcome relationship problems
First and foremost, overcoming relationship problems takes two to realize and come to terms with the fact that they are having a problem. Often Emotional Sexuals don't believe they have any problems. To them long stretches without any intimacy and an almost workaholic attitude along with a good deal of alone time are simply par for the course and they will often encourage their partner to go ahead and seek Marital counseling if they wish, but there is nothing wrong as far as they are concerned.
Physical Sexuals are more likely - male or female - to have affairs or at least strongly consider them. They are seeking excitement, variety and attraction and if their partner can't or won't give it to them, then they are not beneath seeking it out from others.
In both scenarios the marriage usually ends in divorce. Although working through relationship issues is not an easy thing to do at times, there are certain things that can be done in order to try and work through some problems that may creep up.
Keeping each other happier: An Emotional partner complimenting the Physical and noticing when they change their hair, wear a different cologne or they've taken the time to buy a gift for their partner is a nice thing for the Emotional partner to do. The Physical sexual can make their Emotional partner happier by understanding that the Emotional has "cycles". These "cycles" involve the period of time in which the Emotional wishes to be intimate. By the partner paying attention to when their Emotional sexual partner expresses intimate behavior it allows the Physical partner to understand and recognize when they need to give their Emotional partner space and let the Emotional come to them.
The Physical partner loves to be pursued while the Emotional partner is interested in pursuing - in their own time. When these two opposites learn to understand each other not only from their emotional actions but also through their sexuality type, many of the marital issues that can crop up, are more easily managed and overcome or thwarted before they cause any problems.
This article in no way begins to describe the unique and interesting aspects of both the Physical and the Emotional Sexuals and their roles within their relationships. It does however, offer the reader, an opportunity to perhaps discover a little unknown factor about yourself and your partner and maybe it will help you understand how each of you think...which just might help you understand how you and your partner act within your relationship just a little bit more.
(This article is 1525 words - thank you for reading!)