I had been using the Nuva ring for birth control and we had a little lapse in my perscription due to a change in health insurance. I thought nothing of it honestley I thought since I had been on birth control for so long that I would be safe. Well I started feeling so tired that I couldn't even lift my head wiith out becoming so tired. On top of my unexplainable fatigue there was the extreme clumbsiness and I was angry at Andy for no reason all the time. All of a sudden I thought, "I'm like a crazy person!" I decided to take a pregnancy test because I was unable to figure out if I had missed my womans' week or not.
Sure enough, staring me right in the face was the tiny little word on the digital test that said 'pregnant'. No chance of a mis read there, no symbol to decode no color to decifer just big black lettering that said, "You are going to be a mom, from now on your life will change forever, and don't even think about ever fitting into a pair of your express jeans again!" Andy was exited, I was terrified. I started thinking of everything at once. What if something goes wrong and I lose the baby? what if the baby comes and Andy is like Elvis and can't touch me again now that I was the mother of his child? How big are my boobs going to be because I like them they way they are, in fact I like my body the way it is!
Lets face it I was scared. I already suffered from anxiety, now add in hormones out of whack times 10. Andy couldn't understand why I was always crying. I was happy but scared at the same time. It made no sense to me but to every other woman I knew I was "normal".
Months 0-4: I was scared and nautious. I couldn't eat anything or drink anything without wanting to hurl. They couldn't tell if I was having a boy or girl. I was so sure it would be a boy because I was scared that if it was a girl she wouldn't like me. That I kept inside. I knew it was a little crazy to think hat but I guess having had so much rejection in your life you can think it is possible for your child to dislike you from birth. (for them to dislike you in their teen years I hear is perfectly normal.)
Months 4-7: Wow! I feel great! " I love being pegnant." I felt now that I had made it through the danger part and baby is safely resting in my womb. I also found out that it's a girl. I was happy. I kinda new. I could only think of a girl name from the time I was first pregnant. This I took as a sign. So Zoe Lynn Durfee would be here in July. So much for not being able to eat before! I am hungry! However, all I want is olives and guacamole. Andy would take me to the Mexican reseraunt up the street and I would order a quart of guacamole. I cried once over the size of my underwear but other than that I was calmn cool and ready to be a mommy to Zoe. I couldn't wait ot see her, to know her, to meet this tiny person whom I already loved with all my heart.
Moths 7-9: Zoe will you come out already! I'm ready to love this baby face to face. She keeps kicking me in the throat and every thing is sore. My cute skinny feet are now these hunks of man feet flab. I get winded just going to the bathroom which I have to do every twenty minuets. I went in for my last check up and they said she will be at least two weeks late. The next morning my water broke. I decided that it would be a good time to get her clothing washed and organized. By 12:00 pm I decided to call Andy at work to let him know. By 1:00pm I called him telling him that the contractions were 7minuets apart and to please come home. He said "I just pulled in." Now as far as the 5 pre labour classes we had taken I didn't and couldn't think of one thing we were taught. Andy had his manual and check list. He new all the breathing techniques and the steps for us to follow.
Labor: We're at the hospital and I want my Epidural NOW! In fact I would have done crack if they said it would make things go any faster or less painful. When it was time to push I was so tired I couldn't feel anything from the epidural, oh except for the pain of labor! The Doctor kept peeking in to see how it was going but I was getting so upset everytime he would leave. I was begging for them to just go in there and get her out. Finally on July 16th at 8:55am my 16pound 13 ounce little girl was born. When she was handed to me she stopped crying and I felt her loving me and I was able to hold her and tell her how much I loved her.
I can't believe she was here and all ours.
(part 2 coming soon)
Update On Apr 05, 2010: OOOOPS! Zoe was 6lbs 13 oz. Not 16lbs! Sorry folks I think I would have keeled over if she was that big. I missed that mistake. See after the baby my brain is mush.