Values and personality go hand in hand in constituting the being of a person. Its what sets him apart from all the other individual persons existing in the world.
We know others by being with them for a good amount of period of time. Thus we would know their values and principles and in that we should truly know a person. We also realize that if we consider these qualities and activities separately and add up our liking for each of them, the total value for us is nothing like enough to justify our love for the person.
Knowing someone should be subjective and it is kind of a moot point in trying to objectify or measure a person when one wants to get to know them. This is because in trying to objectify a person, the true untainted results of an individuals personality becomes elusive. That part of others which does present itself objectively to me is never more than the physical body, its corporeal unity, the self and the vital â€œsoulâ€ belonging to it. That is what is presented to us and what we would associate that consists a specific person.
Of course the physical body encases the being of a person. He might be identified through this body and there is not one person who can live fully without a physical body. The corporeal unity brings about the spiritual or social connections of a person. This would be related somehow to the social contracts involved in the simple interactions of a person with other persons on a day to day basis. The soul would be the essence of the person and its what truly makes him animated. The values attaching to the physical, the corporeal and the mental can all be given to us objectively, and may even be given in the process of loving those who possess them.
But it would be an entirely different matter if loving the person will only be up to the extent of the physical or perhaps some attitudes and attributes of the person. One can say that he loves the other because of this or because of that. But that kind of love might not be really loving in the truest sense of the word.
When one has become accustomed to the trivial physical or mindsets of the other, what would be left? And so if the person loves the values of the other or maybe has accepted it for what it is even if he doesnâ€™t agree with it, then he can truly say that he does â€˜loveâ€™ the other. Values represent or form most of an individuals personality. It varies from person to person and in loving one, along with all the values, agree or accept it or not, that entails in loving a person well then thatâ€™s that.
There is really no way truly knowing all of the persons whole. This is because the person himself does not know himself fully. So in not knowing all that there is to know about himself, he might not like or even hate himself. Others who are around him and surround him, recognize the being of the person and see past the self hatred that he inflicts on himself. So the other is capable of loving a man more than he loves himself.
But so long as a man has love for himself rather than hatred, the act of â€œjoining inâ€ with such self love is certainly one of the forms which oher peoples love for him may assume.
In this case it would be easier but love also entails sacrifice and compromise. Though in this case it would definitely be easier on the part of the person and of the other who is loving the person, it doesnâ€™t mean that it would be a different kind of love or maybe not loving at all when compared to loving a person with self-hatred.
It would be much better if the relationship of loving would not be one sided or it might be actually preferred if the love of the person for the other is reciprocated by the other to the person. In loving a person who hates himself, might in time, learn to acknowledge that others love for the person, and maybe learn to love himself as well as the other.