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Hallmark Cards Never Have The Right Card

Reviewing: Hallmark A Greeting Card  |  Rating:
By niceguy2010 on
Badge: Author | Level: 3 | Holidays, Parties & Events Expertise:

Here is a review written by a friend of mine who hates greeting cards.

I hate shopping for greeting cards. I really do. It seems that for every single occasion known to the planet you have to buy a greeting card to go with it. For me it just seems like a big waste of money and paper. Some people like them some people don't. I could go either way. For me shopping for a greeting card is like shopping for the perfect steak. There is never the perfect greeting card no matter how hard you look. You're chances of finding a perfect steak are better. There may be one that seems like it's the greatest and then you second guess yourself and that card goes into the "maybe" stack.

Hallmark makes cards that can be cute or appropriate for the occasion but I find that most of them are too cutesy or try and avoid the main theme of the card. For instance: Weddings. I'm sure you're delighted that your brother or sister is getting married but what if you hate the person that they are marrying. I don't think that the title "I'm glad you're getting married but, your significant other is a jerk." constitutes as a warm greeting card.

I try to match the card with the persons attitude and what they like. Most of the people I know are really sarcastic and weird and Hallmark doesn't seem to have the kind of cards that they might like. I know that there are other card companies in the world but they all seem to be trying to live up to Hallmark's standards. I think it would be great if Hallmark came up with a morbid line of greeting cards for all the weirdos out there. How about:

"Have a fantastic time at that funeral!"

"I'm glad you're gone."

"Sorry that your pet died but at least your place doesn't smell anymore"

"Sorry about your broken head, next time don't play on the roof"

"This card smelled funny so I thought you might like it", and many more fun titles.

Titles like that might make some money. Even as strange as the titles may seem. I'm convinced that people don't buy a whole lot of greeting cards because there is always the thought that they are just going to get thrown out. I want people to save the cards I give them. Maybe even frame them and put them up in the hallway. In the long run I won't buy a greeting card unless it's absolutely necessary.