For three years in June, my husband and I have been happily married. Even though we merrily go along our way, there can always be room for improvement as does any relationship. I found the perfect book written by the best-selling author by the name of Dr. Kevin Leman, an internationally known psychologist.
Although the book is called “Sex Begins in the Kitchen, Because There’s Company in the Living Room”, the book contains no direct reference to sexual content. Rather, it is a book helping couples (married or dating) open the lines of communication. As stated in the book, Leman describes that many of his clients (within the thirty plus years working in the business) have difficulties communicating with one another causing them to believe a divorce can only be the outcome.
The book contents range from “the plight of marriage” which describes why most marriages are in trouble to “games couples play”. The two sections that I found the most interesting dealt with “making the pieces fit” and “whom did you marry”.
“Making the pieces fit” goes against the old phrase that a woman can change any good man. In the real world though, this truly can not be done without someone feeling remorse and/or repentant. Not that I have tried to change my husband in multitudes, I have tried to change a few things such as the way he dresses and other smaller things. This book has taught me to ignore the little things and concentrate on the positive ones. To a young couple, this is a very insightful action.
The “whom did you marry” section dealt with birth order among the two people in the relationship. Even though I have heard about personality traits designated by birth order, it had never come across my mind that a relationship can be determined by birth order also. For instance, a better relationship will be among two people that were born I a different order than each other. It had never occurred to me that my husband was a first born and I was a last born, which could explain our good relationship together. This is because the first born tends to do anything to please the other person. Me being the last born, the baby of the family, I like to get attention. So, the two of us are a perfect match. Now, this does not mean that I can take advantage of my husbands’ need for an approval but I learned more of how my husband’s mind works due to this birth order.
Lemans’ book can not be compared to attending marriage counseling sessions with an expert in the field of psychology (for couples with serious issues) but for couples that are looking for a better communication this is the key to success. It is not a life changing book but rather opens ones eyes to a new respect for an even better marriage.