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Vampyres 1974 Widescreen

Reviewing: Blue Underground Widescreen  |  Rating:
John Gugie By John Gugie on
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Two sexy and somewhat bi-sexual vampires stand by the roadside out in the woods to be picked up by unsuspecting men. The dark-haired Fran usually gets picked up while the blond, Miriam, stays hidden, to meet up later. Fran has the men drive her back to a creepy gothic mansion for a drink and sex. After the man gets tired and falls asleep, both vampires feed on him. After they get done feeding, they kill him in a frenzy of biting and stabbing.

This time they meet a man who's hiding something and they feed on him. But Fran likes him and, much to Miriam's disapproval, keeps on with their sessions for a while. Each time, he awakes during the day, alone in bed and doesn't remember any of it but notices his cut arm and feels lethargic.

A man and woman drive past the vampires and camp out near the mansion. The too nosy woman is suspicious and questioning about who lives inside and starts snooping around under the guise of painting the mansion.

Meanwhile, the police discover some of their victims on the roadside, in their cars.

Let's start by saying that I rented this for the erotic aspects and as a horror film second. I will try to focus on it as a professional.

The plot is very, very thin. Two bi-sexual female vampires who find men to have sex with, suck (their blood people, blood!!), and then savagely kill him, like piranha, in a frenzy of biting, licking, sucking, stabbing, kissing and rolling all over each other. It almost makes me wish that it was me getting bitten by them! Phew, is it hot in here or is it just me??!!

Where was I? Oh, yes, the plot! Beyond that description, there's not much else. There are tons of plot holes. Who were the vampires? Why were they killed in the opening scene and by whom? How did they become vampires? How long ago? Who owns the mansion? And on and on. It's basically a soft-core porno with the tiniest gossamer strands of background story of all of the characters.

We see the two sexy female vampires totally nude, except for full frontals, in several scenes. It's very erotic, lots of biting and licking. They are all over each other during the killing - rubbing, kissing, licking the blood. There's also a few scenes where we see the girls getting frisky together by themselves. It's hard to tell if both are bisexual. Fran has to be bi because only she's seen on top of the men. Miriam might be a lesbian because she's never seen with a man, except to kiss them, and she seems very protective of Fran. But, women confuse me, so draw your own conclusions.

The acting is not that great but it's adequate I suppose. British horror is a bit more laidback and slower-paced than in the U.S. so it's hard to tell if this is the type of acting they were going for or if they're just not very good actors.

The highlight of the film, well, besides the nude women of course!, is the great dark atmosphere like Hammer Films. The British overcast sky is perfect for horror. It's set in the rural and secluded countryside. It's very rainy and some thunder adds to the horror mood. The cinematography is very arty and pleasing on the eye. It's light on music, just during to set the mood during frenzied scenes.

There is plenty of blood for the gore fans but just during a few scenes, not constant. Those who don't like gore will probably be distracted by the sex.

Overall, this was a mediocre, often bland movie with the only strong point being the atmosphere and cinematography. It might've made a better half-hour show. It's slow-paced and little happens. I recommend this to erotic horror fans only, as there's little else of value here.


The girls said that the blood was mint-flavored syrup.